It’s a given that once you’ve had a baby your pelvic floor can be severely affected. In fact almost all mums have much less control of their bladder post-baby. I’ve heard several confessions of mums who wee when they sneeze, run, jump, cough, bend over (that one is me) but I rarely hear confessions of when mums poo in their pants. And I know some have – and that’s OK. Here’s my confession:
When I had my first baby, it was traumatic. There were forceps, gaping holes and infections. My recovery (or lack of) was so difficult that when a midwife told me I had black rotting skin on my wotsit, I went downstairs and pooed my pants. I cleaned myself up [not true. My mum cleaned me up as I cried like a baby] then I called the hospital to book a review of the rotting wotsit and yep, I poo’d again. In fact I had trouble stopping.
It continued for a few weeks and although a nurse told me I had urinary and foecal incontinence it turns out it was stress incontinence and went away as my nerves eventually calmed.
This was probably one of the worst times of my life. I had a new baby who was unfamiliar to me, a failing bladder and bowel, and really sh*tty pants. I was convinced I was the most vile person on the planet and felt completely betrayed by my body.
Ever so slowly with the support of some amazing people in my life I started to heal physically and emotionally. I’m not completely healed and I still plan trips around my bowel but I’ve accepted that this is yet another consequence of having children.
Weeing in your pants is widely accepted and can be amusing to talk about, but pooing feels more shameful, more dirty, when really it’s just the same. It has absolutely no impact on how worthy you are, how special you are.
So for all you amazing mums who have pooed your pants: you are not alone. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You are just as beautiful as the lovely mums who wee.